Phil Smidt's...R.I.P.

HAMMOND After 97 years in business, five owners, and couple hundred millions of servings of frog legs and perch, Phil Smidt's restaurant is closing its doors at 9 p.m. Saturday...Welch Inc., the corporation operating Phil Smidt's, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy reorganization in 2003 with estimated assets between $500,000 and $1 million and debts ranging from $1 million to $10 million. At the time, Welch said the bankruptcy filing was a financial step to give his corporation breathing room. But it could never recover.

- Andrea Holocek, NWI Times

Some may think it too soon after the death of the Phil Smidt's to speculate on the reasons behind its demise, and that our time would be better spent remembering the assorted seafood goodness that it purveyed these many years.

Fair enough, but I'll leave that to Amy. I don't have an attention span long enough to wait for the appropriate moment. So here goes...

Reason #1: Really bad math.

After reading the news account in the NWI Times, the first thought that crosses my mind is that they were really bad at math. Or had a very shady accountant. According to the Times, they sold a 'couple hundred million' servings of frog legs and perch over 97 years. This works out to be well over 5,000 servings per day. I'm no restauranteur, but you don't need to be Mark Van Dam to make it at those volumes.

Reason #2: Mixed SuppaClub review.

Officially, the SuppaClub review was one thumb up, one down - which normally would have been enough to sustain the restaurant for another hundred years or so. Tragically, however, the thumb up vote went unseen by the public due to a reviewer's misspelling of the restaurant's name. The restaurant closed less than two weeks later.

Such is the power of the SuppaClub review.

When reached later for comment, the disoriented reviewer was found at Teibels mumbling, 'Oh crap. Now I'm stuck eating these beets every Friday.'